Its been a while since I have blogged, nearly a month apparently. I would like to blame this on my busy schedule, or my many adventures, however, its all because I am just too lazy. I could blog every day, I just dont want too, it wont be funny, it wont be interesting and it will rapidly become very fucking repetitive. However, for those of you that are interested, here is my month in a few concise bullet points:
- I took an evening out in Leicester to see some comedians I had never heard of, however one of them went on to appear on 8 out of 10 cats so he must be alright. It was a pleasant, and most importantly, free evening indeed.
- My grandmother went on holiday for her birthday, she went to Croatia. Instead of bringing me back some kind of spirit, she brought me back a t-shirt, several sizes too big. I think its time to put her in a home.
- I have been diagnosed with a “sleep disorder” and am waiting referral to a local hospital for “further tests!” Its been 3 weeks now, and I have yet to hear back.
- I got some free tickets to Guns N Roses, but never bothered going. Foolish decision.
- Had a hair cut to ensure that the wild hideous look I was rocking about 9 months ago doesnt return.
- Celebrated 6 months with my significant other by going to London and watching an Irish chap and a Swedish woman jump around a bit. It was strange, and the Pimms was expensive.
- Attended a family party in which I fell asleep on the bathroom floor. Congratulations on the ol’ pregnancy from me!
- Continued recording and distributing The Fireside Chronicles, http://crunchycrunchybiscuits.com/category/podcast/, with my co-hosts. If anything, its getting better.
However, all this pales into comparison with my achievement of the month: I finally bought a toaster. I cannot put enough emphasise on the word finally. For as long as I can remember I have both been moaning about the fact I lived in a house that didnt own a toaster and my plan to actually buy a toaster. It had got to the point where nobody would listen to me anymore, I was just that crazy kid in the corner babbling about how much he hates grilling bread. But come on, who enjoys grilling bread. You have to constantly keep an eye on it, because it goes from bread to charcoal in a matter of seconds.
But, I dont think I was fully prepared for how life changing this event would be, infact for almost a week, that toaster just sat on top of my microwave, begging to be used, trying to lure me in with its sexy silver exterior and its multiple settings. “Hey, look, I can cook bread on a scale of 1-5… plug me in?”
It wasnt until I purchased some reduced potato cakes from Tesco (14p, get in my belly) that I was forced into action. They had to be eaten that night, and my distinct lack of potato cake experience led me to just toasted the hell out of them and devouring them. Suddenly it hit me, snacking could be this easy. No longer do I have to fuss about watching the grill, or putting things in the microwave, and I definitely wouldnt have to call a takeaway ever again. With one push down, these carbohydrate riddled snacks would cook for me.
So this is me, putting all breaded products on alert, I now have a toaster, and I am not afraid to use it. Do you know what? I might go and get some English Breakfast Muffins right now. Smother those bastards in butter and I’ll be in heaven. Until next time friends, stay classy!